Having a talent for something is one thing, but having the passion to push it forward, to see it through, and to perfect it is something else. That passion has to be there and it has to have room to grow. Building a passion for something can be a tricky thing in the early stages. If you’re not practicing correctly you can get frustrated and want to quit. As a parent, if you pile on expectations and pressure you could overwhelm your child and, again, they’ll want to quit. In part 2 of my Raising A Talented Kid series I examine the importance of passion, how to nurture it, and how to recognize the difference between true passion for something and a passing curiosity.
I’ve been playing music now for over two decades and I still really enjoy practicing. Practicing on a musical instrument is one of the few things where I can see immediate results. It’s not like going to the gym and pumping iron for weeks at a time; then, still with a gut, staring in the bedroom mirror wondering where all your time went. If I sit down with a problem in my playing that I want to correct, an exercise I want to learn, or a technique I want to master, I can set my metronome at a slow speed,slowly build up the tempo, and within 30 minutes I can already see and hear a noticeable improvement.
But that’s because there’s a way to practice.
A sure fire way to distinguish the passion in your kid’s budding interest in a skill is to have them practice the wrong way. Slow and systematic is the way to go. Slowly build up speed and stamina. Stop at the problem areas and then address just those problem areas. Don’t play through an entire song, fumbling and falter at measure 19, then play the whole song again in hopes that measure 19 will miraculously be better. If measure 19 is a problem then practice just measure 19 – then measures 18, 19, and 20 – build around that problem and incorporate that solved problem into the whole.
Proper practice can help build a kid’s steam in passion.
But what’s the difference between passion and a passing curiosity?
I’ll use myself as an example because I’ve had 38 years of experience with my life. Not that I’m a prodigy or anything. Far from it. I had to work really hard to be able to do what I do today. And I’m still working out bad habits from when I was younger and techniques that I’ve never heard of before. That being said, I do know a little something about passion vs. a passing fancy.
At the age of 12 I saw the movie Evil Dead 2. There was a scene where the main character was playing piano while his girlfriend danced in the room (before she was killed, of course). I saw this scene and I was like, “I want to play that, I want to be able to do that, I don’t know what it entails to do that but I want to do that….I also want to fight demons.”
I knew I wasn’t going to fight demons so I told my mother I wanted to take piano lessons. She was skeptical at first because my sister took piano lessons for a while but didn’t show a lot of interest in it. But I found that I really enjoyed my first piano lesson and the subsequent discovery in working out the playing details in the upcoming lesson plans. I practiced all the time. I wrote my own songs (as dreadful as they were). I woke my parents up in the middle of the night with it. But then my piano teacher quit and my piano lessons stalled. After some time I got 
interested in rock music and once I heard Megadeth I wanted to learn how to play the bass guitar. My mom was skeptical again and thought I wouldn’t stick with it. However, my dad went to a pawn shop one day and bought me a Peavey bass guitar for Christmas. Thanks, Santa!
And I stuck to it.
As soon as I got home from school to when I finally went to bed. It’s all I did.
It’s pretty easy to see when your kid has a passion for something. It’s an all consuming thing. It’s all they’ll talk about. It’s all they’ll do. A passing fancy is if they want to play guitar but they only noodle around with it every so often. They might’ve seen a concert or a video and thought the singer looked cool; so, in turn, they wanted to be cool like them and do what they do to be cool. However, they eventually find out that actual work is involved. If the passion is there they’ll push through the work and the passion will grow. If the passion isn’t there then they’ll move on to something else. And the guitar on the stand will become a towel rack.
Let’s look at the case of Cierra Runge. One day she was at home with her mom watching the Olympics. When four-year-old Cierra saw the swimming competition on the TV she pointed at the screen and said, “I’m going to do that.” And so her mom took her to the local YMCA for swimming lessons. Today Cierra is a world-ranked swimmer and is also a 2016 Olympic hopeful.
If your kid shows an interest in cooking and loves to make pies then by all means, start serving pie more often. Of course, the fruits and veggies should always be present; you should always balance things out. But allow the kid to make desert more often while parlaying their interest into other avenues of cooking.
You might have a kid that you think is perfectly suited to be a world class tennis star or rodeo clown; however, at the age they’re at, they might not show much of an interest. That’s fine, just wait till next year. Kids’ tastes are always changing. But whenever they start showing that little spark of interest help ignite it into a fire.
You should view yourself as a tour guide in your kids life. Help them explore adventures and possibilities while keeping your eye open for that certain area they may become obsessed with.
Up next is all about how a parent can give their kid the best shot at success.
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This blog is sponsored by Real Simple magazine and by “My Kids Got Talent” by Jennifer King Lindley
If you haven’t checked out the new Cea Serin lyric video, please do so now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFy3iD_zF7k
Our new album will be available Oct. 6th
